When it comes to TV relationships, the messier they are, the more we like them.
Red flags in television are things we (hopefully!) would never accept in real life, but not in fiction.
There’s so much dysfunction on television; after all, what’s the fun in a happy relationship on your favorite TV show?
Among the dangers on TV, enemies of lovers are the most serious
Almost every TV show has enemies to lovers, and fans can’t get enough of it.
I bet most of us could list at least a dozen recent examples of this trope involving two people who couldn’t stand the sight of each other, eventually realizing that it wasn’t hatred that was driving their emotions. This is love.
In other words, they reject each other because they are afraid to admit that they are attracted to them.
In real life, people tend to reject people who have values or behaviors that they find repulsive.
But just look at the popularity of Wolf and Nichols from Brilliant Minds.
When the show first began, Nichols was an arrogant neurosurgeon who couldn’t stand the unorthodox but brilliant Wolfe.
Many fans immediately noticed their chemistry and started debating how long it would take for them to get together, and now that they’ve kissed, their shippers are excited.
Watch “Ingenuity” online
A closed-off guy who’s afraid of letting anyone get too close
Look, there are a million people out there, so why do we need to waste our energy on people who are afraid to share too much of themselves?
However, this trope is a super-popular example of a TV red flag, second only to the enemies-to-lovers thing.
Take Crockett Marcel of Chicago Medical Center.
Marcel was heartbroken when his infant daughter died of leukemia, so he decided that from that day on, he and his job would be married.
A one-night stand is OK as is a crude flirtation with a co-worker. The relationship is out.
Then Natalie Manning fell deeply in love with him.
Marcel resisted until he didn’t anymore. Eventually, he admits to her that he’s afraid of intimacy and why.
This made them a couple and popular among their fans. (It also transformed Marcel from a mean surgeon to a fan-favorite whose exit broke everyone’s heart.)
Realistically, it’s too much work to try to pull an emotional connection out of “Mr. Closed,” but would Marcel/Manning shippers want to do it any other way?
Watch Chicago Med online
The partner that all your friends hate
If everyone who cares about you hates your new partner, that should be a huge red flag.
Sometimes people get jealous or misjudge people they don’t know, but your friend may be looking out for you.
So if four or five people tell you bad news about someone, that’s a sign to go in the opposite direction.
However, when this happens on TV, we would rather the couple get together or stay together than for people to shut up.
Many times, TV friends are completely wrong. Either there’s a purpose (they don’t want the protagonists to cooperate, or they want the bad boy/girl for themselves), they’re biased, or they’re incompetent.
I am also often confused by this danger signal on television.
JJ and Paige are one of my favorite Days of Our Lives couples (they’re a real-life couple too, but that’s beside the point).
I was so annoyed when Paige’s friends insisted that JJ’s past criminal record made him unsuitable for her.
That’s because I was there, witnessed JJ’s mental health struggles, and understood that he was not a bad person and that I had worked hard to change his life after so many shows.
This is the difference between television and real life.
Most of the time, we know a lot about our proposal’s life because we’ve followed them through their own journey, so we know that our well-intentioned friends were wrong.
Watch Days of Our Lives online
People you’ve tried and failed
I’m not very willing to have a second chance with the same person, except on TV.
Usually, people break up for a reason, and if they decide to get back together, their relationship is unlikely to work out.
Furthermore, this is part of the cycle of abuse.
While not everyone considering rekindling an ex-lover is dealing with an abusive or manipulative person, repeated breakups and reconciliations are flashing red warning signs that something unhealthy is going on.
Yet on television, we often like to see people who have such bad relationships that end up in ugly divorces…who suddenly decide to try again. (Yes, I’m looking at you, Olympia and Julian on Matlock!)
This used to be a soap opera trope.
Every power couple on Days of Our Lives has divorced and remarried four or five times, leading Kayla to swear it was “the last time I’m going to do this!” when she and Steve remarried again.
It also appears frequently in prime-time television dramas. Matlock Season 1 Episode 6 explores in flashback the case that led to Olympia and Julian’s divorce two years ago, and now that they are back on the road to romance.
This red flag from television is popular because it taps into our sense of romance.
The hopeless romantic in us wants to believe that “love is forever” and that those who are meant to be together will eventually find their way back to each other, even if things don’t work out that well in real life and we’re still stuck with old memories Heartbroken by the breakup.
Watch Matlock online
A person determined to steal the heart of someone who falls in love with someone else
Why would a self-respecting person insist on being with someone who doesn’t like him?
Yet television does this all the time. Every love triangle is based on the idea that X is in love with Y, but Z will show them that X and Z are meant to be.
(I’m sorry if this sentence triggered anyone’s fear of algebra problems!)
Seriously, as much as I hated Sofia on Days of Our Lives, I respected her decision to break up with Tate because he used her as a consolation prize when he couldn’t be with Holly. It would have been nice if she’d done it before they had sex, but it’s still a first on television.
The Veronica/Archie/Betty love triangle is as popular in the Archie comics as it is in Riverdale , and it fits this trope perfectly.
Betty misses Archie when he’s with Veronica, which is no better than actively trying to steal him away.
Regardless, it’s a compelling triangle—and, it predates the series and has been a part of Archie Comics for years.
We love these types of love triangles on TV, even though being determined to be with someone else’s partner is extremely unhealthy because it illustrates our beliefs about who should be with whom.
We’ve all had that experience: We wonder what’s wrong with our crush and they think someone else is a better match for them than us.
On television, it’s possible for the person to wake up and discover that their best friend is a better romantic choice than their current love, fulfilling our fantasies about people who didn’t choose us.
Watch Riverdale online
A love interest that disappeared years ago
I have to admit, I’m obsessed with this.
These are the real second romances, the ones that don’t work out and then years later, people meet again and fall deeply in love with each other.
Unlike most red flags on TV, this could happen in real life given the right circumstances.
I believe that a high school crush can fall in love again 50 years later, even after the spouse dies.
However, this trope raises red flags when something like what happened to Benson and Stabler on Law & Order: Organized Crime .
The couple has a huge, super-passionate fan base who hate it when anyone says anything about their favorite couple.
Still, Stabler had a crush on Benson for ten years and she was supposed to be his best friend.
Prior to this, he had made it clear that he was married and wanted to stay that way.
It’s unrealistic to give a person a second chance after being treated this way, and yet here we are, with millions of people angry that this hasn’t happened yet.
Once again, this trope appeals to the hopeless romantic within us, who believe that if the people involved are right for each other, nothing is impossible to surpass.
Watch Law & Order: Organized Crime online
The good-hearted abuser (and his cousin, the one who chooses someone to fix them)
Some relationships go beyond red flags and become problems that no one should have in their lives.
Days of Our Lives was the first show to popularize rape after EJ forced Sami to have sex with her and she fell deeply in love with him.
Such stories often excuse the abuser by explaining their childhood trauma, why they were in a bad mood at the time of the incident, etc.
Nighttime dramas are equally guilty. Additionally, there are stories about people deciding to date someone in order to repair their relationship.
I would put Sean and Leah from The Good Doctor in this category.
By The Good Doctor’s seventh season, they had developed into a mature, strong relationship, but in previous seasons, much of the story revolved around Leah wanting to “fix” Sean rather than accepting his autism.
This is an unhealthy relationship dynamic, but it also validates our fantasy that love can solve someone else’s problematic behavior.
In real life, we all want to be accepted for who we are, but on TV, the idea that people become better people because they fall in love is popular, and this dynamic keeps couples grounded.
This metaphor, more than any other, emphasizes the importance of realizing that television is not real life.
In fact, being in a relationship with an abuser or someone who needs “fixing” can be dangerous and not the start of an exciting love story, but on television it can lead to a compelling romance.
Watch The Good Doctor online
Over to you, TV fanatics.
What’s your favorite TV love trope?
Is there anything in real life that you can’t stand?
Hit the comments with your thoughts.
