Reviewer Rating: 5/5.0
5
What on earth did we watch during this ho-ho-ho holiday, what can only be described as Elsbeth’s most chaotic, contrived Christmas ever? I have two words to give you: snowball and the ashes of your loved ones.
This episode is filled with holiday cheer and joyful murderous mayhem. It’s a laugh-out-loud show from start to finish, with some of the best jokes of the season and plenty of shout-outs to previous episodes.
Elsbeth Season 2 Episode 6 is part “Howcatchem” and part murder mystery. Now, that’s what I call an early Christmas gift.
Many times, viewers will ask themselves: “Did Diddy kill Dirk, or was it a happy accident?” And by “happy accident,” I mean if she had been innocent, she could have avoided being killed.
Alas, in the end, America’s Mrs. Claus turns out to be the Grinch who killed Christmas. At least, she tried anyway, because Elsbeth was about to have the happiest holiday ever.
“Why do people like strangers breaking into their homes?”
Now let me get this out of the way; boy, was I wrong about this episode. If you’ve read the spoilers for Elsbeth Season 2 Episode 6, you know that I fully expect Elsbeth’s son to continue his stealth act.
Boy, was I wrong, but I’m glad I did. Forgot to call it Christmas, because Elsbeth’s son Teddy shows up in a damn Santa costume just to surprise his mom.
If you followed Elsbeth Season 1 on TV Fanatic, one of my biggest pet peeves from Season 1 was that Elsbeth’s son seemed to cut her out of his life.
In the spirit of the holidays, I’m officially putting Teddy on the “nice list,” because making your mom cry tears of happiness and joy definitely doesn’t count on the “naughty list.”
While Teddy wasn’t the only thing I got wrong in this episode, surprisingly I wasn’t too far off the mark. Instead of Fire Chief Jack, the audience is introduced to Fire Chief Lee Sparks.
Sparks fly and Elsbeth appears to be fireman catnip
Seriously, what happened to the firefighters in Elsbeth? It’s been building since Elsbeth Season 2 Episode 2. A man was doing push-ups on the ground and smiling at her.
I’d like to say it’s creepy, but CBS finds himself one of the hottest firefighters in New York City. I was a little annoyed that Kaya stopped Fire Chief Lee from attacking Elsbeth.
The man was very handsome and clearly passionate about his job. He and Elsbeth (Kelly Preston) could have produced few crime and fire babies. Oh well. At least the firefighters were actually helpful and not overly hot.
Speaking of hot helpers, we must talk about all the “little” elves of Dirk Dasher. First off, there’s a hilarious joke going around among the Elsbeth writers about Dirk, because let’s not beat around the bush about it.
If your husband is obsessed with Christmas, loves to sing carols, is surrounded by fit, sexy men, and looks like he could dance at any moment, then you’re married to Mariah Carey.
When Molly Price’s (just like that…) Detective Donnelly asks Holly to confirm that they’re talking about the same Dirk Dasher, she calls him I almost died laughing at “The Best Lover She Ever Had.”
I guess Dirk decorated the hall with holly boughs. The joke is there.
Just judging by the look on Donnelly’s face, but then again, she always delivers the best deadpan humor to round out the show.
“New Yorkers love good moving boxes”
Detective Donnelly did appear in Elsbeth Season 2, and we’re not mad about it. For one thing, she gets some of the best quotable lines in the series.
For example, when Captain Wagner asked: “Does Dirk have a Holly?” Donnelly replied: “It’s all because of that flashing red nose.” When she said this, her tone was full of sincerity, without a trace of hesitation. .
Of course, there’s also a little gem and running joke about Donnelly’s status as a true New Yorker when she says, “New Yorkers love a good moving box.” To be fair, New York City itself is a mess.
Gold, Frankincense, and Murder draws heavily from previous episodes. At the bar scene, attentive listeners may have noticed that Elsbeth specifically requested seedless apple juice.
Viewers may recall that Vanessa Williams’ character Roslyn squeezed hundreds of apple seeds so police could detect cyanide in her system in Elsbeth Season 2 Episode 4 .
However, the one with the biggest call back was Gisela (Gee-Zuh-Luh) Mott. If you’re like this TV fanatic, you have to cram in context to remember where this character comes from.
Last time we saw her in Elsbeth eason 1 episode 10, it was her sunglasses that solved the murder.
Gisela Mott randomly shows up at the end to briefly confirm what Elsbeth said during her confrontation with Dee Dee, which made me laugh.
‘What I want most for Christmas is for this case to be solved’
There was so much camp stuff in this episode and even in the entire second season. The tone of things is much lighter than in the first season.
This may be largely due to the possible closure of Captain Wagner’s corruption case. It was so fun to see a lighter, funnier side to the character.
Captain Wagner (Wendell Pierce), who is trying to win the precinct’s popularity contest while also spending the entire episode looking for a gift for his wife, is the real Santa Claus this season.
Also, I wanted to throw this out there: Did anyone else notice the multi-colored bucket hat Elsbeth rocked at the beginning of the episode? I felt personally attacked.
All in all, this was one of the best holiday episodes of the broadcast season. I can’t imagine any audience member not getting into the festive spirit by the end.
Luckily, CBS’ Elsbeth has one more episode to air before it takes a little break after the New Year.
So, get your knee pads ready and get ready for a cliffhanger ending that will drive viewers crazy for the rest of the holiday season.
Did this episode get you into the festive mood?
Were you shocked by Teddy’s surprise appearance at the end of the episode?
Leave a comment below to let me know what you liked about this episode, and join me again when I review another episode of Elsbeth!
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