Surviving the apocalypse isn’t just about stocking up on cans of beans or dodging zombies—it takes guts, courage, and a lot of luck.
Unfortunately, these TV roles are empty in all three departments.
Whether it’s their diva demands, an inability to adapt, or just plain bad luck, these lovable (and not-so-lovable) people can’t afford to sit out the sunset in a world gone crazy.
They either annoy their survival group, get into trouble with their over-the-top antics, or just trip over themselves.
Sure, we love their performances on their respective shows, but let’s face it – they’ll be the first to be voted off Apocalypse Island.
Let’s take a look at 15 TV characters who brought a lot of drama to the end of the world, but not much else.
Jimmy Palmer – NCIS
NCIS’s Jimmy Palmer may be a morgue genius, but in Armageddon , he’ll soon find himself on the wrong side of the autopsy table.
Sure, his medical knowledge could be useful in a pinch, but Jimmy’s lack of survival instinct would make him easy prey for zombies or attackers.
His eternal optimism and trusting nature can lead him to work with the wrong crowd – or worse, try to reason with machete-wielding people.
Even if Jesse, Torres, or the rest of the NCIS team comes to save him, Jimmy’s hesitation and need to do things “by the book” could get them all killed while he stands there analyzing the situation.
Flying by intuition? Not his style. Sorry, Jimmy, but lunchtime may be your last meal.
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Frank Fawn – Nanny
The Babysitter’s Fran Fine may be a style icon, but her designer heels and gorgeous wardrobe are a one-way ticket to the apocalypse.
Can you imagine her wearing a leopard-print dress trying to outrun zombies—or running at all? Her nasal voice alone could cause trouble.
While she can charm her way into a safe group, her diva claims fade in record time.
Fran’s street smarts may help her outwit the con men, but will she survive the apocalypse? Let’s just say her hairspray was no match for the angry crowd.
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Angela Norris-Landman
We’re still learning about Angela Norris in Randleman , but one thing’s already clear – she won’t last two seconds in Armageddon.
Without a cell phone to call Tommy for help (honestly, would he answer the phone if he could?), Angela would be completely lost.
Sure, she’s got the wardrobe and the charisma, and she might try to bat her eyelashes or show a little skin to get supplies, but when it comes to actual survival? forget it.
Angela thrives on luxury, control, and the high life—none of which exist in the post-apocalyptic wasteland.
When it comes to survival of the fittest, Angela is far from the “fittest” you can imagine.
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Harikeshjian — The Equalizer
The Equalizer’s Harry Keshegian is a master hacker and keyboard whiz, but what about the end of the world? His skills are as useful as dial-up networking.
Without Wi-Fi, servers, or hackable gadgets, Harry would be completely lost and fumbling for survival.
He’s not the type to wield weapons or build shelters, and his acerbic attitude may alienate him from any survival group.
Of course, if he somehow survived the first sunset, he might have tried to establish communications – assuming something useful survived – but let’s be honest, we all know that’s not going to happen. Harry’s toast.
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Sarah Franklin – Matlock
Sarah Franklin may be Matlock’s ambitious junior assistant, but she can’t last even one second in the apocalypse.
Her reliance on technology can leave her completely disoriented once the Wi-Fi goes down, and her tendency to micromanage won’t win her any fans in a world where survival, not strategy, is key.
Add to that her nervous personality, extreme competitiveness, and the fact that she might be distracted by a charming survivor, and it’s clear that Sarah isn’t going to make it through breakfast.
Sorry, Sarah, but this is one case you can’t crack.
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Charlie Spring – Heartstopper
Charlie Spring in “Heartbreak” has a heart of gold, but in the apocalypse, that’s not exactly a survival skill.
His sweetness and empathetic nature may win him some allies, but his anxiety and tendency to overthink can make him hesitant when a split-second decision could mean life or death.
Physical endurance? That’s not Charlie’s strong suit. Let’s face it, his quiet, reserved temperament isn’t going to scare anyone or anything hunting.
In a world where quick thinking and perseverance are crucial, Charlie’s story will be heartbreakingly short.
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Bohdi – King of Tulsa
Boherty’s laid-back attitude and stoner charm may have made him a lovable sidekick for Tulsa King, but in the apocalypse, he becomes zombie bait.
His distribution skills and loyalty to Dwight may allow him to play a temporary role in the barter economy, but his anxiety and lack of survival instinct will quickly get him into trouble – literally.
You just know he’s going to panic at the worst moments, maybe fumbling for weapons or trying to reason with the flesh-eaters.
Without someone like Dwight to keep him safe, Boherty wouldn’t have seen the next day.
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Charles Hayden-Savage – the only murder in the building
Charles-Hayden Savage in “Murder in the Building” may be good at solving murder mysteries, but Doomsday doesn’t care who kills whom—all that matters is staying alive.
In a world where moving quickly and adapting is everything, his overthinking and awkward social skills will become major liabilities.
Of course, we saw him step up to save Mabel in Building Mysteries Season 4 Episode 10, so maybe he’ll be able to tap into this side of himself for a while.
But let’s face it – Charles spends too much time crafting the perfect survival plan, only to turn into a zombie before even taking the first step.
His doom? Over-plan yourself and go straight to your grave.
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Claude Whelan – Slow Horse
Claude Whelan may be Slow Horse’s first desk job, but his bureaucratic skills and political games won’t get him very far in Armageddon.
He’ll waste his precious time trying to uncover the government’s last secrets instead of focusing on surviving – or worse, on actually helping others.
Claude was accustomed to comfortable management roles and office jobs, and his zero field experience put him well beyond his capabilities.
His obsession with structure and tendency to overanalyze can bring him to a standstill when quick action is required.
Without a team of agents to bail him out (as if they would bother), Cloud wouldn’t live long enough to hear the final scenes of the apocalypse.
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Bennett Street – Euphoria
Rue Bennett’s sharp wit and knack for getting out of trouble might get her through the apocalypse for a few hours, but let’s be honest – she won’t make it through the day.
Her struggles with addiction and self-destructive tendencies will put her at a huge disadvantage in a world where focus and resilience are everything.
Rue’s impulsive decisions and lack of survival instinct will soon put her in danger.
While she’s smart enough to compete for resources, the end of the world requires more than street smarts, and Lu’s chaos will soon catch up with her.
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Lucy Chen – Rookie
Lucy Chen’s police training may seem like an advantage in the apocalypse, but her emotional tendencies and overthinking could spell trouble.
While she’s physically strong and able to withstand the structural pressure of a rookie, the unpredictability of survival scenarios can confuse her.
Lucy’s strong moral compass and empathy – often admirable qualities – can cause her to hesitate when she needs to make ruthless decisions.
Without Tim Bradford pushing her out of her comfort zone, Lucy might have struggled to adapt quickly enough, making her an easy target for zombies and ruthless survivors.
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Hope McCrea — Virgin River
Hopefully McCree’s fiery personality and take-charge attitude might help her unite the community in Virgin River, but what about at the end of the world? Not so much.
Her stubbornness and refusal to give in will bring her into conflict with just about everyone, and her interference can stir up unnecessary drama in any survival group.
Coupled with her health problems and limited physical strength, Hope had no chance against the grim reality of survival.
She might spend her last moments trying to organize an apocalyptic town hall.
Honestly, since she’s one of the most annoying characters on TV, we didn’t really shed a tear when Doomsday said “Goodbye, Hope.”
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Wilhelmina Slater – “Ugly Betty”
Wilhelmina Slater’s ruthless ambition and impeccable style may have ruled the fashion world in Ugly Betty, but she’ll be a walking disaster in the apocalypse.
High heels and designer dresses aren’t practical for escaping zombies or finding supplies.
Her diva attitude and tendency to alienate everyone around her make alliances impossible.
Let’s face it – Wilhelmina’s survival strategy might be to bribe zombies with Birkin bags.
It didn’t take long for her to realize that there was no room for fashion in the apocalypse.
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Rosemary Coulter – “When Calls the Heart”
Rosemary Coulter’s dramatic flair and determination might have made her the life of the Hope Valley party in When Calls the Heart , but in Armageddon , she’ll be toast.
Her love of beauty and knack for stirring up a bit of chaos will clash violently with the grit and grime of survival.
While she is resourceful and able to bring people together, her tendency to micromanage and insist on doing things her way is a recipe for disaster.
Let’s face it: Rosemary would try to turn a bunker into a Broadway stage, complete with curtains and spotlights.
Zombies? They would give her a standing ovation before making her the star of the dinner show.
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Schmidt – New Girl
Schmidt in “New Girl” has an unnatural obsession with cleaning and designing everything, which would make him completely responsible in the apocalypse.
Can you imagine him trying to ration cream or panicking over the lack of artisanal food?
While his charm and determination may help him get into survival groups, his excessive demands and inability to adapt to the squalor and chaos of post-apocalyptic life will get him kicked — or eaten.
Schmidt didn’t even wait until sunset when he realized the end of the world didn’t have time for pocket squares or perfectly grilled bagels.
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Who would you bet on surviving?
That’s our list of TV characters who will weigh heavily on the end of the world — but hey, maybe we’re wrong and one of them will surprise us (well, probably not).
Who do you think will be the first to go, and who might actually pull off the miracle of survival?
Let us know in the comments.
While you’re at it, let us know who else you’d add to the list of characters who failed the apocalypse!
